I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
