gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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