my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
