D3 body, D1 cock
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
