sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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