Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
