he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
not ubering you a puppy
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
