How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
