party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
In America we eat man semen.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Are my feet made of real feet?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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