Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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