You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
