I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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