he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
