i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
