Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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