i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
wow bdsm is so cute
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