Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
