I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
