I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just tell him i said nine months
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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