Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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