Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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