Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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