There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
