Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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