he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
