my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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