Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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