Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You have to summon your inner elephant
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
