ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
