Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
