So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize