I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize