i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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