Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize