Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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