He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
