Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
