worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
