She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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