Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize