Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
