jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
