i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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