were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
