I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
