u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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