Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
