I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
