...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
