fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize