I am in a vortex of obligation.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
