i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
