I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
