Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
