i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
