coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize
