wrigley field is MILF paradise
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize