I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
