dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
