I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
