How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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