Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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