i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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