Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
