my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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