put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
