Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
