i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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