tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
