grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
