i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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