JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize