so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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