I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
