Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
