Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
