do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize