hell yes lets make some ravioli
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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