The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
