he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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