did you get engaged???
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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