i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I've blown a few things in my day
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Rumble strips road head = magical
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
