Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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