bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
