11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
